My (our) inescapable fear

I had feared, but I thought I was over that boulder.  I had struggled like a monk to surmount it.  I was on top, victorious, chest puffed out like a turkey, proud of my accomplishment.  And the nuclear fallout from my past relations was the perfect amount of salt to make for an especially savory experience.

I was excited to tackle the next one, and finally announce who I was (actually who I had been expected to be my whole life).

But just as my chest was deflating to take in the next breath as a new man, guess I exhaled too hard because I blew away that cloud in front of me to reveal a wall.

I couldn't see the beginning or end of this wall.  It came down from the clouds, and went straight into the earth.  It touched the rising sun to the east and setting sun to the west.  It was like God slammed shut my doggy door to the world so I couldn't go outside and bark my achievements to the neighbors.

Through the squint of my eye I noticed the wall was just one word.......fear.  But I understood differently.  It wasn't the fear I had known so intimately.  It was a fear of the WORD.

Lets come back from my imaginary life to reality.  The dealer of this death to my soul was a poem.  A beautifully crafted, whimsically uplifting, poem full of love, hope, and promise of a better life.   and the death was dealt as follows:  I read this aforementioned poem and I understood it's meaning.  I understood what feeling the author was communicating, but the feeling wasn't communicated to me.

Why?  I will try to express the reason with this sentence:  The beautiful placement of words on virgin ground can make them appear beautiful, just as their poor placement can make them appear ugly.

LOCATION LOCATION LOCATION!!!!!!! The word isn't anything but an empty vessel looking for the best spot to lie.  A street side whore who opens it's legs for whoever has a mouth. 

If the word were a human, It would be ostracized from every society on this planet.  Even evil has a code of ethics.  even a rapist draws a line.   A word is spineless.  It can't trusted!!!!

I am so scared of the word that when I read beautiful prose, I feel nothing because I know the shifting reality that lies behind it's facade.

Other fears you can conquer or run away from.  scared of heights?  live your life on the low ground.  scared of women?  Have a hoe down.

The Word is Houdini-proof.  Magically guarded, entity of dominance. The Word has engineered itself to be a necessity for our existence.  Fuck machines of the future!!  the real enemy is the word right NOW!!!

The word controls us.  If we come up with something new, the word transforms and shoves its genitalia right in front of our face.  and we can't resist it.  We slurp it up like a crackhead in a flour shop, and then sexually transmit it to the next blabbering victim we see. 

We can't preempt it!!! Look at all the forms it can take!!!!  It makes Odo look like a Steve.  It makes Hot feel like a Cold.  It makes Death look like a Life.  We are trapped.  forever under it's spell.  Think about it.  This entire post has been 578 instances of me succumbing to the power of the word.