Tuesday, March 20, 2012

my heart is of no help

The following is a contradiction.

Is love a puzzle?

That sounds so romantic so let's roll with it.  How many pieces would there be then?  Can you have all the pieces at once?  If you do, is that true love?

First, what are the pieces?  Personality constitutes a piece right?  Attraction must be another.  I'm just going with the obvious right now.  You can have one without the other so they must be divisible.  So that makes 2 so far.  Is the puzzle just 2 then?  That can't be all.  Oh how perfect life would be if love's requirements did not amount to 3.    It is tempting to think so, and we even have some justification from biology, but My beautiful life has dispersed all that foggy hope into invisible reality.  There must be more.

#3 timing? is undoubtedly the most painful piece for me.  because the realization of it's lacking usually comes with the stinging regret of wasted time.  For the lack of this piece never shows itself until it is too late.  as if a shadow hangs over its hallow home: out of sight out of mind.......until a simple question made, or minute event's shade draws away the dark to reveal the stark .... truth ....... nothing.

The next piece kills romance.

It is my baby.  It is the most misunderstood and therefore it has been purged to the realm of fantasy by our romantically desperate minds.  Yet it's origin is void of romance.  I want to refrain from using it's commonly known name "chemistry" to avoid affiliations with damned romance, but it is impossible as you will see.  Chemistry is a romantics way of saying exactly what he/she doesn't understand: chemistry.  A human is made from the replication a trillion times over of one cell, which is made from the fusion of two sex cells.  A sex cell is made from the division of a whole cell into 2 separate cells, half the genes of the original cell being doled out to each sex cell, in the testicles and ovaries respectively.  The sex cell of a man then finds a sex cell of a woman usually during sexual intercourse, and they form a new whole cell.  This means that for each cell (human), there is another cell (human) out there containing the other half of its genes. (theoretically)  someone with whom you have "chemistry" is a person who contains the other half of the genes from which your genes were chemically torn away from during sex cell production.
I'm in the dilapidated house of romance, and I smell a gas leak.  I hope I just caused a spark.

AND THEN.......the mysterious 5th piece.

I have spent the latter part of my year of maturity trying to crack it.  It is a golden nugget of elusion.  I have created theories to explain it, cried tears to drain it, and downed beers to refrain it.  It isn't encompassed in any known emotion, because it's origin isn't emotional.  It requires an unaquired level of individual awareness (or blatant stupidity) to be made known which is why it goes by unnoticed.  But it's effect is anything but unnoticeable.  Its presence is only noticed by the presence of the other 4 pieces which could mean its not even a piece of the puzzle but the puzzle itself.  as if once the 4 pieces are found and placed correctly, the dividing lines between them melt away leaving a single new piece.

It's manifestation is seen in the fact that I have recognized it without ever actually attaining the 4 required pieces.  It goes by many names, depending on the field in which it is being discussed.  Chaos, mutation, variance, willy nilly etc.

To believe the attainment of this 5 piece puzzle of love is ever possible is child's play.  For it is only attainable as a child.  As adulthood settles in, it cannot be ignored the reality of each piece's fickle state.  there is an opposing force to each piece that never lets it maintain its position in the puzzle.  Time.

Time will fight personality with boredom.

Time will fight attraction with complacency.

Time will fight timing with impatience.

Time will even fight chemistry with disbelief.

But it can't fight the 5th piece because the 5th piece isn't subject to time.

Luck is the jester of time.  The beguiler of our minds.  The promoting force of nature.  The death of romance.

jester skull

So is this puzzle of love truly possible?

I announce to the world YES!!!!!!

If you are lucky.

No comments:

Post a Comment