finding a mate

animals are currently at a "finding a mate" ESS of males advertise themselves outwardly with attractive, colorful tails or unprecedented fighting ability, or high risk-taking lifestyles, that are economically equal to their actual inner quality. (Quality being their true ability to survive and produce offspring that survive.)  Females just wait and choose the most best male.  They don't look pretty or exciting.  in other words, Males actively impress, females passively wait.  I won't go into the reasons for this but suffice it to say that females are in demand so they can wait.  what is interesting is that humans are different.  We all know this but we don't know why.  Why have humans "decided" to switch roles with the females dressing up and trying to impress the males and the males waiting to find the most attractive female?

finding an explanation might be difficult because of the way I explained the current ESS of animals.  But the fact that it is an ESS expresses that there were other strategies that were attempted but they in themselves are not stable enough to reach ESS.  for example, some males might have attempted to lie about their actual quality, to advertise more than they actually were.  others might have hid their true quality and only reveal to female they felt truely understood them.  but with all these strategies washing around in the machine, it become very unstable until an ESS was reached and that ESS happened to be honesty.  Males honestly adveretise their quality and females trust that males are being honest.

That is found amongst us humans.  generally the most successful and happy humans are  the ones who are honest.  but why are females the ones who dress up and try to impress the guys?  guys also try to impress girls.  Why else do most men lift weights and enjoy extreme things.....women find it attractive.

my idea is that maybe over evolutionary time, women realized that passively waiting for a qualified male to come along was just not effective anymore.  of course this realization was effected by the ones who just passively waited ended up not procreating enough to leave enough of their children to continue their style.  and some mutant strategy came that decided "I will stop just sitting here and wait and I will go out there and let myself be known!!"  and it so happened that the women who adopted this strategy happened to have more success mating and left more offspring to continue this and maybe the way this more active way of finding a mate has been adopted by female humans is by dressing up and looking, smelling good.   possibly the reason this mutant strategy was successful in the first place was that just waiting for an honest male to come wasnt good enough.  There were enough lying and shy and other ineffective strategists that females just got frustrated with the whole game and changed the rules.