Monday, October 20, 2014

Tangents: Demistified.

Here is my attempt to solve the mystery of tangents (most likely I am the only one who thinks of them as such) using what limited knowledge I have about the physiology of the brain.

Brain is made up of little nuggets that store all the information we receive via our senses called neurons.  We have a lot of these neurons, though this article is not concerned with the actual number.  This neurons are all interconnected in various and mysterious patterns by another part of the brain called dendrites.  Please refer to the exciting picture below.







How does information get into the neurons?  The most common way is via the senses.  Please refer to the elaborate pictures below.  










ZOOM 
            INTO 
                          BRAIN!!!!!



ZOOM 
            OUT OF
                          BRAIN!!!!!







ZOOM 
            INTO 
                          BRAIN
                                       AGAIN!!!!!






Get it?

Every sense we have is directly linked to the brain.  All the information we obtain through interacting with our world with these senses is stored in neurons located in the brain.

Whew. Here we go.

Dendrites are formed when the brain has an interaction with the environment where information from the entire experience links information contained within two distinct neurons.  To continue with our example from above...






ZOOM 
            INTO 
                         BRAIN
                                 YET
                                             AGAIN!!!





As the creature wherein the brain resides continues to interact with the world via all it's senses, we eventually see a brain looking something like this:










ZOOM 
            OUT OF
                          BRAIN!!!!!









You made it , YIPEE!!!!! Now I can start telling you about my theory behind why tangents are. (Warning, I use a lot of techy sciency terms.  Please do not try to understand them else your brains will explode)

Every time the brain interacts with the environment via it's senses, it causes the neurons that contain information relevant to the environment to... 

(BEWARE TECHY SCIENCY TERM APPROACHING!!!!!) 

"fire up".  

When this firing up of a neuron occurs, dendrites that are connected to the neuron that's on fire act as a... 

(IF YOUR BRAIN IS STILL IN ONE PIECE RUN AWAY NOW FOR ANOTHER TECHY SCIENCY TERM COMETH!!!!)

fuse, similar to a bomb. 

This causes the other neurons to which they are connected to also fire up.  When these latter neurons fire up, they bring forth the information contained within to the brain's temporary memory reservoir of consciousness (If anyone has survived to read thus far, I apologize for underestimating your mental prowess).

One last piece of information before my theory of tangents shall be understood by all.

Similar to how practicing the same musical piece over and over makes a pianist better at that particular piece of music to the point where he/she could play with their eyes closed, upside down, with their stinky feet, while administering a hug to the family cat - if the same set of neurons fire up via the same connection of dendrites over and over again, the information contained within those neurons (that is relative to the environmental stimulus causing their firing of upiness yupiness) would become so connected, so wired  together, that subsequent efforts of the brain to fire them up in unison would become SECOND NATURE!!!!!

I will edit the amazing picture of our brain from above to illustrate this point.






Please look at dendrites connecting the neurons containing information related to pizza and shark from the picture above.  Imagine each dendrite as a separate occasion where the creature who owns this brain ate pizza while watching a shark eat human.  This means that these two neurons are SOOOO wired that just the sight of a pizza would cause thoughts of sharks devouring humans to flood into the creature's mind.  

This is how the wise ones explain why the brain develops certain strong relational connections between certain objects like ice cream and summer, or why the brain causes certain things to come to mind with certain experiences like, smelling cigarette smoke and being in cheap clubs in South Korea.

Oh, and also, this is the science behind how languages are learned (and as the following paragraph explains, forgotten) 

Of course as different types of experiences connected to eating pizza start to sprout new dendritic connections to different neurons, for example, while scuba diving, the old dendritic connections between pizza and shark will become fewer and weaker until the brain changes to something like this:







But you must never forget.  Once a dendritic connection has formed between certain neurons, it seldom goes away, regardless to how much time has passed since you last had an experience that fired them up together.  This is what explains the mystery of Déjà vu, or walking by a store and smelling something that reminds you of the house of your best friend who you haven't seen since preschool, or your mother.



Now I have finished my talk, but I would like to ask everyone to take one thing into account before you get into your cars alone leaving your families wondering when daddys coming back, EVERYTHING I said here is BULLSHIT.  If you take any of this stuff seriously, you....are.....bonkers.  But I will defend what I said here with my life.  Thank you.

what was not explained and justly should have been is that the brain has 5+ senses with which to gather data from the world.  The brain has its own mysterious ways of where it stores data from each sense.  So just because in my pictures I showed the brain storing data of a shark attack gathered by its sense of sight into one convenient neuron, I highly doubt it is this simple and would slap anyone who thought otherwise.  The brain breaks up all the shit it gets from the world into god knows what kind of signal and throws that garbage into any goddamn neuron it fucking pleases.  That is why I hate the brain.  It's complete disregard to human lazy convenience and its obvious desire to make itself as complicated to understand as possible is the reason I have started a kickstarter campaign titled, "lets all gather together and rip each other's brain out, the one who survives is clearly stronger than the brain and should be the only one to take the human race into the next generation of life on Earth".  Once the campaign has 2 backers, preparations will begin for the event.  So you there.

2 comments:

  1. I love the drawings. And how the fine print is full of profanity.

    ReplyDelete