Tuesday, February 28, 2012


I was on auto-pilot this morning like I am every morning.  I have various auto-pilot modes depending on how much time I have before I must be at work.  this morning in particular, because of time constraints, I had to take the train to work instead of my usual walk.  Here is my auto-pilot path for said conditions: up the stairs to the station, look at the screen to see if the train is close and decide whether to run for it or not (I normally dislike running, makes me feel like I am placing more importance on my destination than on my own comfort), then I take the west entrance to the station and go down the left stairs for the west-bound train.  EXCITING!!!!!!

This morning was weird.  I changed one part of my path, and I almost went the completely wrong direction because of it.  The reason is because my auto-pilot still continue in the path that was programmed into it from so much repetition.  here is what I changed:  I decided for some reason to take the east entrance into the station instead of the west.  This shouldnt be a problem if I was able to correct the path that proceeded that desicion, but it was auto-pilot.  my waking conscious mind that decided to change from west to east was like a split-second virus eradicated as quickly as it came, and my auto-pilot just continued on its course.

It is so amazing what happens next!!!!   if you recall from earlier you will remember what the next step in my path after I enter the station is heading down the left stairs.  so I head down the left stairs......... for the east-bound train?  what?  why the east-bound train?  didn't I say my path lead to the west-bound train?  lets check one more time to make sure.........yep clear as day, I enter the west entrance, go down the left stairs for the west-bound train.  Wait....If you face west and raise your left hand, then turn around and face east, your left hand is still raised, but your left side has now been changed.  My auto-pilot stupid robotically challenged moronic no sense of direction lost in neverland subconscious has no idea of this distinction.  It just does what I trained it to do, blind to the outside world, completely indifferent to the now, then, and future.

So what saved me from walking all the way down the wrong side of the station, and boarding a train going in the wrong direction?  believe it or not, it was the very same thing I just finished ridiculing.  HAHAHAHA!!!!!   It was my auto-piloted subconscious....i think.  lets analyze this together.  So if you remember, another part of my routine was to look at the board to see if a train is closing in.  well of course I did and there were no west-bound trains near my station.  That little tidbit was logged away in my mind, and that little tidbit is what saved me because as I walked down the wrong stairs I saw that people were........boarding......a.........TRAIN!!!!!!!!  but I just saw that there wasnt to be a train for a couple of minutes.  My brain recalled the board, then recalled the change from west entrance to east, then concluded I was walking down the wrong stairs.  As I emerged from the stairs I saw that my brain was correct.

so what PART of my brain kept me in auto-pilot regardless to the outside changes that occured, and what part assessed the whole situation, cued the feelings of abnormality, and communicated to the body this weirdness that then sent me into the path of correction?

I have no fucking clue.

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